November 2018 Funny Stories

One morning while getting my kids ready for school, we were watching “Good Morning America.” They told a story about a fox on a school playground that a man had to catch with his “bare hands.” My 5-year-old daughter started laughing and I asked her what was so funny. She replied, “There was a fox with ‘bear hands!’”
Joni Castillo, Kremmling

A husband says to his wife, “I am the MAN of this house! Starting tomorrow, I want you to have a hot, delicious meal ready for me the second I walk through that door. Afterward, while I am watching sports and relaxing in my chair, you will bring me my slippers and run my bath. And when I’m done with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

The wife responds, “The funeral director.”
Lila Taylor, Stratton

My daughter had a discussion with my 3-year-old grandson, Nolan, about not snacking before supper. A short time later, she noticed him snooping in the pantry. She asked, “What are you doing?” Nolan answered, “Just looking at all the stuff I can’t eat.”
James Tyler, Hayden

One night we had our 3-year-old granddaughter over to watch a movie and spend the night. It was getting late and past her bedtime when I looked at her and said, “When the big hand on the clock is on the 6 (8:30), then you need to start getting ready for bed.” She turned to me and said, “Well, why don’t we just move that clock into another room; that way we don’t have to look at it!”
Roslyn Swofford, Elbert