December 2018 Funny Stories

Our grandson, Matthew, was in preschool and they were having their Christmas program. My husband and I came down with the flu the night of the program and were unable to attend. The next morning I called our son’s house and Matthew answered. I told him we were sorry we didn’t make it. I asked him what his part was in the program. He was quiet for a moment, then hemmed and hawed and finally said, “Oh, I was a people bird.”

Our son, Del, walked into our house about that time and I told him I talked to Matt about being a people bird. Del grimaced and said, “He was an angel.”
Pat Bernhardt, Milliken

’Twas the season and my 5-year-old daughter was cheerily singing Christmas carols while I brushed out her hair — that is, until the brush caught a snag. “Ow!” she yelled, “it’s not ‘comfort and joy’ anymore!”
Kelsey Gilbert, Monument

Years ago, my friend had to sing “All I Want for Christmas” in a school play. He told me that while he sang, without thinking, he started singing, “I got a brother for Christmas, but I really wanted a dog.”
Judith A. Cain, Cortez

My 3-year-old great-granddaughter, Logan, was watching me put on my makeup. She studied my moves and the wrinkles on my face, then asked, “Grammy, how did you break your face?”
Pat Berridge, Grand Junction