May 2018 Funny Stories

My 3-year-old granddaughter and I were watching two mule deer through the car window. I explained that the one with the antlers was the daddy and the other one was the mommy. She asked me where the baby was, and I told her the baby was still in the mommy’s tummy. After a brief pause, she asked in a horrified tone, “She ATE it?”
Laura Martinez, Loveland

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house. After eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”

The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.”

“Do you mean a rose?” replied his friend.

“Yes, that’s the one,” answered the first man. Then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Leslie Roy, Livermore

One day, a first-grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warns the farmer. “… And Chicken Little said, ‘The sky is falling,’” the teacher read aloud. The teacher then asked the class, “And what do you think the farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said, “Holy cow! A talking chicken!” The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
Lila Taylor, Stratton