July 2018 Funny Stories

My sister Debbie and I were discussing our dad’s relationships with his three daughters. Debbie said that Dad loved her because she was the athletic one in the family. She went on to say that Dad loved our sister Cathy because she was the smart one. When she didn’t resume I asked, “Why do you think Dad loves me?”

She hesitated, shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I guess because you’re related!”
Barbara Allen, Colorado Springs

While visiting the National Atomic Testing museum in Las Vegas, I went into the gift shop and found mock drivers licenses for Colorado. They were licenses for A. Leon and had all his UFO information on it with a photo of a gray alien. I bought two of them and gave one to my girlfriend when l got home. She put it in her wallet and a couple days later went to the bank to cash a check. The teller didn’t know her and asked for identification. My friend absentmindedly gave the teller the alien license by mistake.

After a moment of silence, the teller looked at her and said, “I need your human one, dear.” Both of them had a good laugh.
Tracy Geib, Westcliffe

When a friend joined the Marines, his drill sergeant looked with disdain at the tattoo on his upper arm. “Son, does your mother know you have that tattoo?” the drill sergeant asked. The recruit replied, “Sir, yes sir! She has one just like it.”
Lynne Becker, Colorado Springs