July 2017 Funny Stories

My 5-year-old great-nephew is extremely energetic and sometimes mischievous, which gets him into some trouble at times, so I was surprised when he was subdued at the beginning of a recent visit. He told me he had some bad news and sadly told me that his friend’s grandmother died. “Oh, how sad!” I said. “Did you tell your friend you were sorry about his grandmother?”

He looked at me with an alarmed expression and said, “But Auntie, I didn’t do it!”
Joan Cunningham, Monument

Our 3-year-old great-grandson, Logan, was with us on one of his normal baby-sitting days. My wife called us to lunch and he announced that he had to go to the bathroom first. He disappeared into the bathroom and tended to his duty. When he came out I asked him if he washed his hands. He replied, “I don’t need to, Grandpa. I have a fork.”
Sonja and Ray Mehaffey, Fort Collins

My granddaughter and her young son just finished a hunter safety course. As they were driving home after class, her son asked, “Mom, who is Will?”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He replied, “The instructor kept saying, ‘Ready, aim and fire at will.’”
Donna Hellyer, Hayden

When I returned home from walking my puppy, my 10-year-old niece, Andrea, said she did me a favor. I asked her what it was and she said, “I got your mail for you.”

I took it and said, “These are all bills!”

She grabbed the mail from my hands and said, “Who’s Bill?”
Janet Montano, Campbellsburg, Indiana