December 2017 Funny Stories

My granddaughter Kylie was excited to board the steam train out of Durango, which during Christmas time becomes The Polar Express bound for the North Pole. At the head of our car a young lady read the story The Polar Express before passing around hot chocolate and cookies. When we entered the North Pole, our guide pointed out a large building, telling us it was the toy factory where the elves made toys and learned how to be Santa’s helpers. When she asked what we thought the elves might learn, Kylie‘s hand excitedly shot into the air. Her mother and I wondered what she obviously thought was the perfect answer. Pulling from five years of accumulated Christmas vocabulary she confidently blurted, “They learn how to sleigh Santa!”
Sue Loweree, Durango

A couple was in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and so she called his cell phone. The wife asked, “Where are you? You know we have a lot to do.”

He said, “Do you remember the jewelry store we walked into about 10 years ago and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said one day I would get it for you?”

Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got choked up. “Yes, I do remember that shop,” she said.

“Well, I’m at the gun shop next to that.”
Mike Sniegowski, Phoenix, Arizona

Part of the assignment for my second-grade class was to draw a nativity picture. One little boy came to my desk, put his picture down, placed his elbow on my desk, rested his chin in the palm of his hand and proceeded to tell me about his drawing. “This is the manger where Jesus was born. This is Mary and Joseph and the star that shone over the stable. This is the store where the three wise men shopped, and these are the three wise men: Frankenstein, Merchants and Gold.”
Denise Blegen, Berthoud