April 2017 Funny Stories

Visiting his grandparents, a small boy opens the big family Bible. He thumbs through the old pages, fascinated, when something suddenly falls out. He picks it up and finds that it is an old leaf that was put between the pages to press it flat. “Mama, look what I found,” he calls.

“What did you find, dear?” his mother asks.

With astonishment in his voice, the boy blurts out, “I think it’s Adam’s underwear!”
Lila Taylor, Stratton

Six-year-old Johnny and his 5-year-old friend, David, were walking in a park one morning when Johnny said to David, “Look! I think that’s a dead bird over there!”

David looked up to the sky and said, “Where? I don’t see it.”
Gary Schumacher, Colorado Springs

A police officer pulled over a vehicle for an excessive exhaust violation. The officer wrote the driver a ticket and told him, “You’ll need a ring job.”
The driver replied, I got a job and it ain’t in jewelry.”

“I meant, a piston ring job,” the officer explained. The driver responded, “I’m not interested in the brand name or style of any jewelry.”
Archie Ferrarini, Clifton

My great-grandson came to spend the weekend. He ran up to give me a hug and exclaimed, “Grandma, I am almost as big as you!”

During our conversation his birthday came up. When I asked how old he was going to be, he said, “I’m 5 going on 6. How old are you?” When I told him 68, his eyes got big and he looked at me so seriously and said, “How come you never grew up?”

I could do nothing but laugh because, you see, I am only 4-foot-11 and because of that he thought I had never grown up.
Evelyn Fay Hardy, Texas Creek